Did You Pack the Emotional Baggage?

By Michael Freund

Having just returned from my first trip to Italy, I can now understand why so many American Jews fall in love with the place.

The scenery is unforgettable, the people are warm and friendly, and it is a land rich with sites of great historical and cultural significance. You can bathe by the seashore, roam through ancient structures and ruins, or wile away the day sipping coffee and watching the remarkable blend of people and colors stroll by.

Perhaps this description sounds familiar. And well it should. Because, in many respects, Italy is a lot like Israel.

Sure, I know there are some important differences. Italy is not locked in a fearsome conflict with its neighbors, struggling to win recognition of its basic right to exist. And no one is seeking to divide Rome, the Italian capital, or place control of the Vatican under United Nations auspices.

But the fact is that Italy is bursting with American Jewish tourists, people who return, in some cases year after year, to enjoy all that this wonderful country has to offer. And yet, when it comes to Israel, many of these same travelers will offer up a menu of complaints, reasons why they do not hurry to make a return trip to the land of their forefathers.

Israelis are rude and pushy, they say, citing in particular the lack of courtesy on the roads. Another favorite gripe concerns time, as everything from television shows to airline flights occasionally fall behind schedule, driving the punctilious among us to shake our heads in despair.

Needless to say, these very same grievances are fully applicable to Italy too. Courtesy on the roads? It hardly exists. I found that out while dodging traffic on a Roman street, which led me to suspect that aiming for pedestrians with your vehicle is an informal type of national pastime.
Punctuality? The 2:30 pm train from Florence to Venice removed any illusions I may have had on the subject. Though the train eventually did leave the station, it was not even remotely close to the scheduled departure time.

Hence, it remains enticingly unclear why the same traits many consider charming about the Italians somehow rub people the wrong way about Israelis. Why is it that the frustrations confronting a tourist in Italy are viewed as amiable and captivating, yet the very same phenomena in Israel evoke a stream of adjectives unprintable in a family-oriented newspaper?
The answer, of course, is neither original nor very creative, but it is worth pondering nonetheless. Quite simply, for better and for worse, Israel strikes a chord that other places just do not reach.

When an American Jew visits Italy, the chaos and arguing and traffic jams and labor strikes are all external to him. They do not reflect on him or his identity as a Jew in any way. He is a tourist, an outsider, plunged into a foreign and exotic environment, and he is therefore willing to take things as they come.

But when the same person visits Israel, he knows deep down that there is something different at work. He is no longer truly just a visitor or a sightseer who is exploring a strange and alien milieu to which he is unconnected.

Rather, he knows that what he sees around him says something profound about who he is and the nation to which he belongs. Whether he wants to admit it or not, he realizes that how other Jews conduct themselves somehow reflects on him, too.

In that sense, then, it seems fair to say that the typical Jewish tourist’s double standard when it comes to Italy and Israel is precisely that – a double standard.

Yes, it does have a basis in reality, and there are plenty of things about Israeli society that need to be fixed. And yes, the hotels in Italy are grander and their service is superior.

But how you relate to all of this is also a function of your expectations, of the thoughts and feelings and, dare I say it, the “emotional baggage” that you bring along with you on the airplane.

If tourists came to Israel, and judged it by all that it has to offer, and how much it has accomplished, rather than against their own set of personal expectations, they might just enjoy it as much as Tuscany or Lombardy.

So, the next time you are planning a little jaunt to the Mediterranean, leave some of those pent-up preconceived notions behind.

Italy is a great place to visit, but Israel can be even better. And, believe it or not, the pasta at Mama Mia’s restaurant in Jerusalem is just as good.

This article was originally published in the Jewish Week on June 19, 2002

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Michael Freund

Michael Freund was deputy director of policy planning and communications under former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. He is now an editorial writer and syndicated columnist for the Jerusalem Post.